Monster shell

You make me nauseous

I try to cut my anger in half

Prevent the wrinkles in my eyes

dye my clothes to black

mourn the lost of you

There should be a school for fathers

There should be a test

There should be a limit to

how many children you can have.

But then I wouldn’t be here…

I thought you knew me

I thought you knew every

freckle that surfaced my skin. 

inch to inch of what bones I broke

You told me your thoughts of suicide

As I reminisced about you

throwing a glass vase at my mom

shattered to the wall. 

The time you slammed the gate, hinges crumbling off. 

Bottles and bottles of beer

you crushed against the rock

outside like a fuming dragon

Are you waiting to be slain?

Put out of your misery?

The sanctuary that accepts you,

does it know of you?

I’m not sure who is trying to take your soul?

But your monsters live wild next to your heart.

Detest me and record my cry.

I will die before I become like you.

26 seems no different than 16

When mom died and I lied to myself

of my age. School, dinner, dishes, and

taking care of you. 

Brother my dear, coked out next to me.

Don’t touch me, Don’t know me,

Because the monster living wild next to me is you. 

I don’t fear you. I don’t curse you. 

But I know you. 

My flesh is your flesh weathered in. 

Buried in my finger nails, DNA springs back and forth.

My flesh my monster,

You taught me how to live with depression. 

How to love with pain

Accept me, you say you don’t

Love me, you say you do

But I accept you like your god teaches. 

A monster is monster but I will tame you.